Sigh. All I needed to do was a bump an Initiative issuetype down to an Epic due to a reporting need stemming from Atlassian’s deprecation of no fewer than 5 gadgets off some dashboards I run. I thought, “Why don’t I just do that? Flip one issuetype to another?” When really, I should have said to myself:

“OH, FUCKNO. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING INSIDE JIRA’S AWFUL, AWFUL GUTS.”

Alas, I touched it. I touched it real good and now am paying the price of asking, “But.. why??” over and over again. Until the day I fucking die, I will ask, “But.. why, Jira?? Why, for the love of all that is unholy rusted metal, why?”

It is going to take me HOURS to unfuck what I just fucked. And perhaps a 2nd brain as my primary is filled with the interminable “Why?” And yes, I did know better. Yes, it’s my fault. To be fair, it was Jira’s fault 1st for being such a goddamned dumpster fire of rigid hierarchy, orphaned tickets, and bizarre UI. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.

I’m not even a PM. I shouldn’t be here. 😭