I once got ejected from my local bar because I came across an Australian, who had the bad luck to tell me he worked for Atlassian. He opened with that. I went apeshit. Two decades of dealing with Jira – custom field configs and issue types and conditional workflows that never quite do what you think they will because their UI is soooo fucking crazy, batshit, weird and to change one thing, you need to hit in 25 different places with completely unintuitive placement and relationships so you can never find your way home, coz that’s efficient – has soured me on the entire continent of Australia. They spawned the devil that is Atlassian.

Why, on god’s green earth would anyone knowingly design something like Jira?? it makes no fucking sense. And why the fuck is white space in Confluence so abysmally rigid and then somehow results in misaligned elements???? HOW. Never should have left Mediawiki.

YOU’RE ON NOTICE, AUSTRALIA!!! I don’t care how cool your opera house is. You should be deeply ashamed and horrified.